when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
