Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
