fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
she woke up with a sticky ear
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
