so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm getting married
To pizza
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
