i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
