you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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