Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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