is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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