please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
