im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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