I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
