Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
