As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
