dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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