I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
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i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
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i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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