BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Sober January is a disaster.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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