Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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