So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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