dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
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Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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