guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
