I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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