just survived the first fart of the relationship.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
