I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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