Just fell off a train. Bad.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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