Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
