Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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