So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
you traded sex for a burrito?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
They are going to name an STD after you.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
