I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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