I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize