In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
