No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
