your thong is hanging out like whoa
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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