Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Pooping to opera.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize