My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
