Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Randomize
