that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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