Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
