So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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