im having a threesome with these popsicles
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
