you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
