If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
