Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
