Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
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