Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
He has the fingertips of a God
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