he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
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I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
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Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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