it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
