Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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