i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Is Oprah even human
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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