You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
The struggles of a small town man whore
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize