Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
it's great music for shaving your balls
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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