I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
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