oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
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The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
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So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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