Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
as a side note pls kill me
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