Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
