pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
