So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
