Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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