Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
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