OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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